Wish I understood

“Jesus walks right with us, and we are never alone!”

“Thanking the man above that gives me the strength to keep with it everyday!!”

“Celebrate all the things God has left for us to do”

IN a matter of minutes on my Facebook news feed I can find several of these post. I was raised in a household that allowed me to question everything…and I did.  Why the sky was blue, why the sun set in the west, where babies came from, and if all my loved ones are going to meet me in heaven what about the ones that went to hell…is there a visitation day?

My questions needed answering and as time went on, finding the answers lead me further from religion not closer. For every answer that was at least one more question raised. The more I learned the more I realized that the invisible man in the sky wasn’t listening to us and his “will” wasn’t always nice. I would rather do things my way and not hurt people than to do it “His” way and see people suffer.

I have learned that the root of religion is in the yearning to be with people like you…like minded, values, beliefs…so you don’t feel alone. Others who can understand your joys, sorrows, fears and worries. But its that what family is for? People to celebrate accomplishments and team members to do the tasks too big for one person.

I have found that over the years there are few people that stick by you. Fewer that care about your accomplishments or sorrows. I believe that all people are good, that we don’t want to hurt others, that we are not all selfish. Now don’t get me wrong there are those out there that their happiness is above all others, and to them I say, “and it harm none do what ye will”.

Never should your beliefs, desires, happiness ever harm or take away from a others. If your religion says to hurt others, deny them freedom to find happiness, or restrict what makes them happy but doesn’t hurt others, then your religion needs a new mission statement.

All my decision are mine, as yours are yours. My accomplishments are because I worked hard…not His will. My disappoints are because of my choices…not His plan. I would never ask for strength seeing as the only way to build muscle is to put more strain on them and tear them down before they rebuild. If you want to ask the universe for something ask for wisdom, knowledge and common sense.


Not great at keeping up…

I don’t keep up with the Jones and I don’t keep up with journals or my blog it seems.  I would say that I will make a new years resolution to do it…but that just means I won’t.

What I have decided to do it “declutter” a little more and become a minimalist.  I have thought about this a lot over the years and I always thought that only people who have a lot to start with are able to see the value in having less.  Growing up with constant less makes you want more.  More of everything. More clothes. More food. More gadgets. More. More.  And I did that for a while, to a point.  I have always been on of those people that says and does one in one out with my clothes and I don’t like to buy duplicates of things or new things unless the old one breaks.  But still my house is full of things that don’t bring me joy.  And that is something I am ready to change.

It is a personal opinion and so I can’t force the rest of my family to do it.  And that’s fine. I have always been of the opinion that you should lead by example. So I will lead and we will see who follows.

I am going to start with the Project 333.  I am going to take inventory of all clothing, shoes and accessories I have and see if I can do 33 items for 3 months. Good news for me is I live in Florida so there aren’t a lot of seasons to worry about. We are cold for less than a month and then back to the warm weather.

I am going to scan all my photos on to a flash drive so I have them and can get rid of the paper and scrapbooks. Might end up being a few flash drives and that’s ok.  I just need to organize them in a way that makes sense…at least to me.

It’s going to be a long road, but I’ll get there. This is one thing I am going to keep up with.  I will try to keep you up to date on it. As best I can.

I get a Ribbon!

For nearly 10 years I had this “mole” on my face under my eye and near my nose.  I never really gave it much thought.  A co-worker of mine had the same thing and went to the doctor’s about it.  For her it was nothing but a mole.  They scrapped it off and in two weeks she was healed with the smallest of a red dot.  Taking her lead, I too went to the doctor.  For me, it wasn’t just a mole….it was the dreaded “C” word.  And two weeks later I was in for surgery.

My doctors and nurses were amazing.  But the surgery wasn’t.  Of course they numbed the area, easy enough and then they started the cutting.  Mohs surgery is simple.  They cut out the smallest amount of tissue needed to ensure that the tumor is removed.  It has a 99% survival rate and in just a few short hours you are cancer free.

First round cut, then waiting room wait for the microscope to determine if I still have cancer.  45 minutes later…round two.  Well, the doctor was so sure that he got it all during round two that he put in temporary stitches. Good thing they were temporary, because after another 45 minute wait in the lobby the stitches had to go to make room for round three.  Again, to the lobby to wait for results…and then round four.  After, round four the doctor went ahead and stitched me up while we waited for the results. It’s like it didn’t matter the results we were going to be done.  Found out why within 45 minutes.

He was 90% sure he got all the cancer but wanted me to go to an oncologist for radiation to be sure.  He had cut as far down as he could… that was not what I wanted to hear.  I wanted to hear that I was cancer free, not 90% sure I’m cancer free.  And the stitches and swelling are way more noticeable than the mole had been.

I get the stitches removed in a few days.  My nose is still numb as is a gooPost-surgeryd part of my face.  Its a strange feeling.  My cheek and eye feel like I’m pulling the skin really tight.  It hurts to yawn, sneeze and laugh too hard.  Which is the hardest part because I love to laugh. I am hoping that after time the tugged skin under my eye will loosen and I will get some feeling back in that area. Till then, my friend will walk in my honor at Relay for Life and I get a black ribbon.

Updated from 5 years ago!

So funny!  As I read through posts from years ago I came across this little post about how there was no way that the GOP was crazy enough to allow Donald Trump on the Rpublican ticket.  And now, five years later not only is he on the ticket he is the current frontrunner for the nomination.

(Original post) “The Donald is Out”.  The first bit of good news to come from the GOP list of possible candidates…they aren’t crazy enough to allow Donald Trump to run for president.  But are the crazy enough to allow some of the others.

Currently on the possible list is:

Ron Paul–third times the charm?

Newt Gingrich–only if  His bitter intolerance for gays, Muslims, African Americans, poor people, immigrants, and others who do not look, think, and act like him appeals to you.

Gary Johnson–not if you are a W. supporter, he refused to endorse the former President.

Mitt Romney–if McCain isn’t running he has a good chance.

Tim Pawlenty–He is in with the working class, but falls short with the working poor or those on welfare…and believe it or not they vote in the general election.

Michele Bachman–can you say crazy?

Sarah Palin–still no word for Camp Palin as to whether she is willing to give up the big bucks for public service.

Herman Cain–the Republican answer to “its not a race thing why we hate Obama”

Fred Karger–doesn’t have a chance with Republicans…he is openly gay.

I do hope that the front runners are worthly of our time to investigate their stands and not just the “oppose of Obama” candidates.

Tickets have been written

Romney/Ryan or Obama/Biden. Those are the chooses we have this voting year. Are they great? Nope. Will someone win? Yep. Do I want to be able to complain for four years if my guy doesn’t win Yep. So I guess I need to get out there are vote. But for who? It will be the lesser of the two evils. The guys that will screw up less. The guys that won’t destroy what our country is all about.  But what is the country all about?


Where we founded on Christian beliefs? Nope. Half the founding fathers were Deist. They believed in a higher power but not in Jesus Christ.  Where we founded on capitalism? Nope. We were founded on the surf tradition. Those with land owned those without.  Those with land made the rules and those without followed them or death/shaming/beating happened.  Here in America we have a Constitution and a Bill of Rights that guarantees us certain rights. Wrong again. Those two pieces of paper are written by a government that listed the privileges they were willing to give us, call them rights and make folks happy. If they were really rights then nothing could take them away. But if you are convicted of a felony you no longer have the right to vote or bear arms…that makes them a privilege not a right.


So who is getting my vote this November? Don’t know yet. Have to punch in the numbers in my matrix. Maybe next time I’ll have an answer.

Its Once Again Voting Time

We are months away from voting again this year for the President. I am not ashamed to say that I voted for Obama four years ago. For me he was the lesser of two evils.  There is no perfect candidate. There is no perfect party. I am not or have I ever been a party voters. I have always been an issue voters. There are several issues that I find to be important to me. They may not be important to the guy next to me…but that’s okay.

I am near center. I would love to say that I am center, independant, and all that goes with being balanced…but I am not. I know my biases and I understand that it makes me lean one way or the other. What I find to be fun it that if you ask my Republican friends I lean left, and if you ask my Democratic friends I lean right.  Just shows that those that identify themselves as one party or the other believe that if you aren’t their party than you must be the other party.

I lean right on three major issues:

1. Immigration. If you can count them…round them up and send them home. If they come again…jail them and charge them for the room and board.

2. Gun Ownership. Every able bodied citizen should have the right to own a firearm…but there should be regulations. The mental ill…nope!  Gun shows and private sales that might allow the mental ill to purchase a fireame…nope.  Does someone really have a need for a machine gun…not anymore than they need to have a tank or a drone.

3. The Death Penalty.  If they have exhausted all of their appeals… don’t let them sit on death row for 11 years. I don’t want to continue to pay for them. Finish their sentence…Death!

I lean left on a few issues too:

1. Abortion. Keep your damn Theology off my Biology. Its between me and my doctor if I want an abortion. Just like its up to me and my doctor if I want the freaky looking mole removed.

2. Enviroment. I don’t see a need to trash the planet. The planet is everyones backyard and I don’t throw shit in my neighbors yard so why wouldn’t I want to keep the planet clean for generations to come.

3. Civil Rights. We are all human; therefore we should all be afforded the same rights. Gay or straight marry who you want. Rich or poor pay your fair share of taxes, no loop holes no subsidies. Male or females, same pay for the same job. Black or white, same options with out filling a quota or reverse discrimination.

And that is why I can’t party vote. And that if why I am not affiliated with one party. And that is why my Right friends think I’m left and my Left friends think I’m right.